The Grace of Prayer

The theme for the National Day of Prayer (May 2, 2013) is the scripture passage: “And in His name Gentiles will trust.” (Matthew 12:21)

Dear Lord,

Today we take time out of our busy schedules to reflect, to humble ourselves, and to pray.

It is in You that we place our trust.

In this modern era, we are bombarded with communications, media, technology and a fast pace of living.  It is often hard to calm ourselves, to stand still in silence, to let all the noise turn to quiet.

Today, let us stop the process.  Instead,

Let us acknowledge our neighbor who is without a job and ask for opportunities to arise.

Let us be cognizant of those with financial burdens and ask that their weight be lifted.

Let us remember those who are ill and/or hospitalized and ask for their healing.

Let us acknowledge our soldiers serving around the world and ask for their safe keeping.

Let us remember the children who go to school hungry and ask that their hunger be fed.

Let us validate those who experience abuse, children and adults, and ask for Your mercy.

Let us be cognizant of the aged, the crippled, those who suffer from mental illness, those who are blind, deaf or hearing impaired, and ask for Your blessings upon them.

Let us think about those who feel lost or shunned in our world and ask for their acceptance.

Let us validate those who cannot see a future and ask that they find hope.

Let us honor our fellow Americans who were maimed or who perished at the hands of violence in the past year, especially those impacted by the recent bombings in Boston, MA.

Let us recall those who wish harm on others and ask that they be shown Your Light.

Let us appreciate the world we live in and ask that we be better stewards.

Let us recognize our Governmental stewards and ask for Your guidance upon them.

Let us remember those who experienced damage or loss due to weather occurrences and ask for Your care.

Let us acknowledge all people around the world and ask for Your blessings upon them.

Let us be cognizant of those without freedom and ask that their control be lifted.

Lord, please help us to remember that we are all interconnected, we are all souls who are on this earth to learn and to grow and that we are much deeper than our exterior selves.  Please help us to let go of our ego, the need to be right and/or the need to hold power over others; instead, let us humble ourselves and offer lovingkindness to one another.

Our Nation has seen so much strife, yet violence continues.  The sadness of parents in Newtown, CT; the shock experienced by athletes in the Boston Marathon and the heartbreak from loss of children and young adults on our city streets must come to an end.  In each of these cases, individuals were simply living life.  As a Nation, we can do better than this; we must do better than this.

Our society, even amidst all this chaos and tragedy, offers so much more.  Small children and young adults do beautiful things in our communities.  Many adults extend themselves in various ways to better our society.  Please make that love of others, that energy, outshine the horrific acts of a small few.

Dear Lord, we thank you for so many gifts and place our trust in You today.  Thank you for sustaining us, for bringing us toward Your Light, for helping us to make good choices that impact all of us.  As we go about our day today, please bless us, please open our hearts to how we can each better ourselves so that the ripple effect of those good deeds provides a much better world for everyone.

In Your Name and with our gratitude.

The Grace of Survival

“…sometimes we have to have one hand on this rock here,

one hand on that one, and each big toe seeking out firm

if temporary footing, and while we’re scaling that rock face,

there’s no time for bubbles, champagne and a witty aside.

You don’t mind that people in this situation are not being charming. You are glad

to see them doing something you will need to do down the line, and with dignity.”

 

This quote reminds me of rock climbing in the 1980s; however, this is instead a beautiful metaphor about survival, written by Anne Lamott, in her book Bird by Bird (1994), where she points out: “[survival]…this is the task before all of us.”  I’d like to share with you, with deep gratitude, an experience of survival. 

 

I was raised in the mid-west.  My parents were hard-working - 1950s genuine, caring people.  Our family was close-knit, extending to my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents.  Without warning, my Father died suddenly.  In outward appearances, we stayed strong.  Life, as we knew it, changed forever.  "I need to figure out how to make a living" was my first thought.  I grew up instantly.  I told my Mom I would use my part-time job money to buy my clothes, purses and shoes (the necessities of a 16-year-old girl!).  Then, I marched through life.  I completed high school and got a full-time job at a large corporation.  I marched into my 20s, my marriage and buying a home – I marched into my 30s, divorce, night school, learning to date again; yet, being responsible all along the way, paying my way wherever I went, taking care of anyone in my path.  No one was going to die on my watch again! 

 

In my 40s, I learned this was called survival.  Survival is highly respected in America – I was a single woman, with a home and a good job; I was going to night school to earn a degree; I had all my bills paid; I was crossing all my “T’s” and dotting all my “I’s.”  I was trying to take care of everyone so they wouldn’t die on me!  I thanked God when my 50^th birthday came—at least my age was telling me I could no longer keep up this pace; nor did I want to do such a thing—filling my days with work, keeping my mind occupied and thinking I could actually keep people breathing! 

 

Staying in survival is remaining a victim and staying in ego—it is not truly living life.  The way we choose to respond to troubles is through fear (attempting to control life) or through love (trusting God’s Will).  My ego (my security) taught me that I was doing fine.  However, the little girl inside of me had been placed on a shelf at 16, never to be heard from again!  There was no time for play—life was very serious.  It is still sometimes hard to relinquish that seriousness. 

 

Once I understood survival, I had this distinct feeling that I had left a piece of my emotional self at 16 – how in the world would I bring it from 16 to 40-something – this could take years!  Instantly, I had this visual in my mind of a large rubberband that had been stretched out fully – all of a sudden, it came right back into place – without snapping my fingers (without hurting)!  It was God’s way of saying: “Ask and you shall receive!”  It was a perfect metaphor, one that expressed God’s most gracious and unconditional love.  When we ask to be healed, He brings it to us – no shouting, no yelling, no belittling and no judgment.  The rubberband came back into place gently and quietly – my 16-year-old emotions came forward instantly!  Emotional Grace! 

 

So, if you find yourself seeking a toehold on life, maybe this will provide some inspiration: 

 

I believe we are each on a Path.  Every space on the Path is a good place—in fact, it is a Sacred place.  As we journey along the Path, there is this most beautiful and loving force ever so gently guiding us, pulling us toward the Light.  I liken this pull to the feel of an undertow.  Think about how very gently an undertow tugs at you; yet wields its vast, innate power.  I consider this Guidance to be God’s Will—within that, we are using our free will.  God is always there with open arms, with the most gracious welcome—every day, every moment.  Unfortunately, we get into our ego and think we are in control of the game of life—that’s when we make it hard and in walks fear!  In life, we can choose fear or love!  If we pay attention to when we’re using our ego, we will find that things become difficult, and we will have more life trials!  Instead, when we open our hearts, trust, we welcome God to lead our lives - we find Peace—we find Love—we find Grace—and Gratitude for His Grace – even for the Grace of Survival!

The Grace of Inclusiveness

 “I don’t want to talk about His Divinity;

I’d rather talk about His Humanity –

how He lived His Life here on earth;

His Kindness, His Tolerance.

I think we can’t go around measuring our goodness

by what we don’t do, by what we deny ourselves,

what we resist and who we exclude.

I think we’ve got to measure goodness by

what we embrace, what we create

and who we include.”

(An excerpt from the Movie: Chocolat, 2000)

With Easter approaching, I’ve been thinking about what I’d like to write this month.  These thoughts brought back memories from my childhood of being raised in a Roman Catholic family, attending Catholic schools, attending a Catholic Church – a Cathedral - St. Raymond’s in Joliet, Illinois.  As a child, my Dad taught me how to pray; I was a very fervent “pray-er!”  In fact, I would spend some nights saying extra prayers – then I would let God know that those extra prayers were for the nights when I fell asleep and forgot to pray!  I often think God must get a real kick out of children’s prayers – priceless innocence!  Our family practiced Lent, which meant we got up every morning in the dark, drove to Church in the bitter cold to attend 6:00 a.m. Mass – the church was quiet, cold and very empty.  It was a very large Church, so it was austere at that time of the morning.  Practicing Lent as a child meant “giving up” something you really liked during that period of time, a small sacrifice – most often candy – chocolate!  My Dad would let us have a little treat on Sundays if we were obedient to our Lenten sacrifice during the week.  That was a real gift!  Chocolate Grace?

All this nostalgia brought back sweet memories of the movie Chocolat.  So as not to give the story plot away, I will share only a little snapshot, so you get the idea:

A woman moves into a small French town, unmarried, with a child – a real faux pas in this town of many societal rules!  She opens a shop at the beginning of Lent and makes “to-die-for” chocolates – a real temptation!  However, since she doesn’t “fit” the town’s staid morals, people look askance at her; yet, they want so badly to try her chocolates!  Many characters come into play as the story progresses; but the real beauty is how this woman treats everyone she meets.  When Easter Sunday comes about, the Village Mayor, who was going to provide the Easter Sunday Service, is unavailable to do so (you will have to watch the movie to find out why!); so his young, “next-in-line” gives the sermon instead.  He is unprepared and very nervous; but gets up in front of everyone and the above-mentioned words are what he shared.

I thought it was amazingly beautiful!  This is also what I mean when I’ve mentioned in past posts about being open to messages of Grace.

We may think of Jesus as someone far from reach; yet, He walked the earth – He lived the life of a child, a young adult, and a man – He experienced the same types of life lessons we experience (and then some!).  In His Humanity, He taught us how to treat people: warmth, kindness, caring, loving and healing – including everyone.  The movie Chocolat is a great lesson on inclusiveness – tolerance of differences, openness to newness and change.  The lead character touched people’s lives and they were changed forever.

In November, we talked about the Grace of Acceptance – feeling unacceptable, in any circumstance is so shaming; yet, we’ve all been there!  Below is a quote from The Power of Now (Eckhart Tolle, 1999) that brings insight to this topic:

“Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective.  It does not make one person special.  It is not exclusive.  Exclusivity is not the love of God but the ‘love’ of ego.”

Whatever Easter means to you or if Easter is not a part of your life – we all experience spring – the newness, the freshness, the warmth of the sun, getting outside, seeing new buds sprouting and the signs of wildflowers to come – remember that each of God’s creations is a Gift for all of us to enjoy – the Grace of Inclusivness.

May you be blessed with Grace…always.

The Grace of Gratefulness

In the past few posts, we discussed the importance of accepting and forgiving ourselves in order to love ourselves and others.  An area that also causes a block in our life’s flow is resistance.  I thought I would touch on a common human trait, which causes us to resist the life we’ve been given, brings about undo suffering, and gets in the way of our joy and peace.

Many years ago, I knew a fellow who was always wishing he was someone else – “Why can’t I be this?”  “Why can’t I be that?”  “Why can’t I have that job instead of this?”  I expressed to him that God gives each one of us a very special Gift; it is ours to determine what we do with that Gift.  If a person looks at his/her Gift and says: “Gee, I wish I had what you have instead.” – I would think God would be offended.  Yet, I know God accepts us exactly where we’re at, even in our anger.  We may not immediately see our potential—we may initially be disappointed that we do not have a beautiful tenor voice like Bocelli or that we are not a gifted pianist like Mozart, but we have been given a Gift—each one of us.  The more we resist our Gift, the more we operate out of fear – fear of expressing our true self – fear of being judged by someone else – fear of being judged by ourselves.  God does not give us Gifts that cannot be used.

The fellow I was referring to was my husband—I often pray that he has since found peace and contentment.  I’ll share a poem that expresses this concept:

A Bag of Tools

Isn't it strange

That princes and kings,

And clowns that caper

In sawdust rings,

And common people

Like you and me

Are builders for eternity?

Each is given a bag of tools,

A shapeless mass,

A book of rules;

And each must make -

Ere life is flown -

A stumbling block

Or a stepping stone.

(R. L. Sharpe, Best Loved Poems of the American People, 1936)

So – it is ours to create – that is the scary part!  We judge ourselves and we are afraid of being judged by others, so we build a stumbling block instead.  But, when we “get out of ourselves” and we actually begin to create, it is taking the very best of what’s within us and putting it to its very best use – it is genuine, it is real, it is an act of love.

This is where the Grace of Gratefulness comes in and this is how I feel it comes about:

The more we open our hearts to the concept of Grace, the more we pay attention.

The more we pay attention, the more we see Grace in our lives.

The more we see Grace, the more we understand how miraculous life truly is.

The more we understand the miracle of life, the more we are filled with gratitude.

Joseph Campbell, in The Power of Myth, calls this Bliss.  I believe it’s one of the greatest Gifts of Grace we ever receive.

If your life is feeling stagnant or unfulfilled, take the tiny steps of recognizing the Grace that is coming into your path, pay attention, be grateful, and then watch how gratitude melts away any resistance.

Blessings for peace and contentment.

The Grace of Forgiveness (continued)

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds

on the heel that has crushed it.”

Mark Twain

Whenever I’ve thought about forgiveness, I’ve typically thought about forgiving others.  However, as mentioned in the poem in the previous post, I believe we have to begin with ourselves.  This is a very hard thing to do.  As the poem relates, throughout our life, layers and layers of negative or shameful input seep into our brain; those thoughts become etched into beliefs and we begin to live out those beliefs.  In fact, often we don’t even know how we came to believe such negative information, so it’s hard to know who to forgive.  In the process, we begin to realize those negative thoughts made us react in a negative way to someone else.  We begin to show frustration, anger, or spite toward others, creating even more negativity, which then eventually requires us to forgive ourselves.  Unfortunately, humans do not typically react as kindly as the little violet in the quote above.  Instead, these negative feelings spill into our family communications, our work life and our community and can eventually be the cause of wars among countries.  It’s so hard to believe tiny seeds of negativity can multiply amongst all of us and reach that degree of tragedy, something we’ve experienced way too much in our country recently.

Much has been written about forgiveness and its impact; I’d like to share a few thoughts:

Tom Carpenter, in his blog The Forgiveness Movement: http://theforgivenessmovement.org/blog1/

“Happiness and love are interchangeable; neither exists without the other.  Judgment and pain are also interchangeable.  The choice to exercise either forgiveness or judgment determines which you will have.”

“Forgive the world and you have changed its purpose from judgment to joy.  Forgive yourself and you have found the freedom to love.”

Iyanla Vanzant, in her book One Day My Soul Just Opened Up (1998):

“The truth is, when you forgive, you are doing it for yourself.  As it relates to forgiveness, you must give up what you do not want in order to make room for what you do want.  You must give up pain, anger, resentment, and fear in order to experience goodness, joy, peace, and love.  Offering another the forgiveness they need strengthens the spiritual nature in you.  When you withhold forgiveness or love from anyone, for any reason, it diminishes your awareness of the abundance of good in life.  In essence, the good that you withhold from others will be withheld from you.”

“Sometimes, we make the mistake of thinking that other people have the power to control or alter our destiny.  It is our beliefs, mistaken and otherwise, that ultimately determine what we will do or be in life, not another person.”

“The biggest mistake we all make is believing that other people can hurt us.”

Eckhart Tolle, in his book The Power of Now (1999):

“Forgiveness is to relinquish your grievance and so to let go of grief.  It happens naturally once you realize that your grievance serves no purpose except to strengthen a false sense of self.  Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life – to allow life to live through you.  The alternatives are pain and suffering, a greatly restricted flow of life energy, and in many cases physical disease.”

Caroline Myss, Ph.D., in her book Anatomy of the Spirit (1996):

“…illnesses develop as a consequence of behavioral patterns and attitudes that we do not realize are biologically toxic until they have already become so.”

“To create disease, negative emotions have to be dominant, and what accelerates the process is knowing the negative thought to be toxic but giving it permission to thrive in your consciousness anyway.  For instance, you may know you need to forgive someone, yet you decide that remaining angry gives you more power.  Remaining obsessively angry makes you more likely to develop a disease because the energy consequence of a negative obsession is powerlessness.  Energy is power, and transmitting energy into the past by dwelling on painful events drains power from your present-day body and can lead to illness.”

“Power is essential for healing and for maintaining health.  Attitudes that generate a feeling of powerlessness not only lead to low self-esteem, but also deplete the physical body of energy and weaken overall health.”

“By releasing our emotional pain, by letting go of our need to know why things have happened as they have, we reach a state of tranquility.  In order to achieve that inner peace, however, we have to embrace the healing energy of forgiveness and release our lesser need for human, self-determined justice.  [This type of] energy can give rise to jealousy, bitterness, anger, hatred, and an inability to forgive others as well as oneself.”

“Genuine, complete healing requires honesty with oneself.  An inability to be honest obstructs healing as seriously as the inability to forgive.  Honesty and forgiveness retrieve our energy—our spirits—from the energy dimension of ‘the past.’”

Lewis B. Smedes, in his book Shame and Grace (1993):

“Forgiveness is a personal drama with five scenes: 1) We blame the shamer [instead of ourselves]; 2) We surrender our right to get even; 3) We revise our caricature of the person who shamed us; 4) We revise our feelings; 5) We accept the person who made us feel unacceptable.”

“When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.  We walk in grace and gradually learn to dance.”

“If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them;

if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

(John 20:23)

The Grace of Forgiveness

I hope your hearts were woven with the golden thread of the Christmas Spirit and that it is still lingering in you and bringing you peace and joy.

In December, I suggested we begin with ourselves this Christmas, by honoring, regarding and caring for ourselves – offering us a Gift of Grace.  This process begins the healing process, which then helps us to extend love to others.  If you recall, this aligns with the philosophy of the Evangelical Sisterhood of Mary (Blog of June 14, 2012): if we repent and reach forgiveness, we can then extend love to others, which, in turn, provides the ability for those to reach forgiveness and to extend love to others.

I’d like to share a poem with you that I wrote when I first began researching Grace:

Forgiveness

There’s something that has come to me,

And, I’ve searched for very long…

In the pit of all our beings,

Is a hatred so very strong.

The hatred stems from trivial things

We’ve believed and come to know…

Through fear and anger, it spills outside ourselves,

Yet, it is we for whom the hatred grows.

Somehow we thought we were less than…

Somehow not good enough…

The deepest Seed inside ourselves

Gets buried in the rough.

Layers and layers have thickened now,

With words that we all know…

The Seed of love is hidden now,

Beneath the dark and frozen snow.

The words we learned were filled with doubt,

“You don’t, you won’t, you can’t…”

The pain of anxiety and hopelessness…

Runs through us like a haunting chant.

Forgiveness is so hard to do,

And, we always look outside,

But, the one who needs it most,

Is the tiny Child inside.

It’s so hard to love ourselves,

With all the ugliness we hold…

We spit, we taunt, we deny ourselves,

No matter what we have been told.

The miracle is that we hold within,

That tender Seed of love…

It carries forth the tree of life…

It’s nourished from Above.

So unwilling are we to accept,

And acknowledge the beauty of…

Our deepest, our only self,

The sweetest Seed called love.

Why do we hide it, oh so deep,

Shut it and keep it at bay…

Why do we bury it under layers…

Pushing it so far away.

My God, My Creator, what have we done…

Why do we beat so hard,

Why do we look upon ourselves,

With so very little regard.

Forgiveness is a spiral,

That heals us along the way,

It cleanses the deep-seated hatred,

And offers us an awakening new day.

This is a Gift to understand,

To begin to know the Truth…

You ask for our dedication…

You taught us in the Book of Ruth.

Your Grace has been Your Gift,

Forgiveness is what You do…

Teach us, Lord, to have the courage,

Help us to do this…for You.

 

                                                                                                            May 18, 2003

I know this may take time to digest, so I will pause here and leave you with this thought: In Ephesians 4:32, the Apostle Paul asks us: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

The Christmas Present of Grace

Do you have a memory from your childhood where you recall a special gift that was underneath the Christmas tree just for you?  If you haven’t had that experience, can you recall a time that brought a warm feeling of being special?  Hold that thought!

As we know from the story of the birth of Jesus in a manger in Bethlehem, He was born of little means.  However, as He lived His life, it became obvious to His community that He was a profound teacher.  He taught many things, often by example – love, acceptance, kindness, gentleness, patience, humility, forgiveness, compassion, tolerance, etc.

When we’re born, we receive a gift of the life that God provided for us.  On earth, however, we get tumbled around a bit and our life takes many unexpected turns.  We often lose our sense of the gift we were born with and become disconnected from our deep, spiritual self, our soul.  We lose hope, we lose faith, we lose our self esteem or we lose our way.

In Genesis 1:26, it states: “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness….’”  This is a hard concept to understand because we think of our physical image.  But, in Matthew 16:25, Jesus said: “For what profit is it to man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”  On earth, it is easy to forget that we hold within our deepest spiritual self, our soul.  Our soul is where our divinity lies.  Because Jesus displayed human decency, respect and dignity toward all, He acknowledged the importance of honoring each person because each person carries within him or her self that “image” of God – our soul, our being, God’s Light.

On this earth, we are given many chances to show kindness or gentleness or compassion – providing dignity and human decency.  Some consider these traits to be weak – ironically, however, these traits feel good when someone extends them to us.  The story of the New York Police Officer this past week, humbling himself to the homeless man, buying him boots so he wouldn’t go barefoot in the cold, is a perfect example.  There’s a saying: “We never know when we’re in the company of angels” – maybe we’re always in the company of angels!  How many people passed that homeless man, thinking – oh well, just another homeless man in New York.

A gentle act of kindness can show dignity toward another human being.  When we realize the depth of spirituality in each human, it is not so easy to pass them by.  Possibly on this Christmas, you can begin with yourself – honor yourself, take good care of yourself, treat yourself with dignity – realize you are a vessel carrying His Light.  By so doing, you will provide yourself with a special gift, a gift of Grace.  In addition, you can then extend those same traits to others – the dignity that is due to all humans.  Even if there’s not a special gift under the Christmas tree, you will have provided an even better gift by honoring your Light within – a gift of Grace that I hope provides you with that special feeling you experienced as a child.

Wishing you a Blessed Christmas!