The Grace of Maidenhair Ferns

The other day, as I was coming back in the house after getting the mail, I was excited to see a little patch of Maidenhair Fern growing in front of my house.  When I first moved to my home over 10 years ago, I was excited to learn that there were little sprouts of Maidenhair Fern behind my home - I have always enjoyed looking for them in the spring.

I first came upon Maidenhair Fern when I visited the Morton Arboretum in the Chicago area in the spring.  If you have never seen Maidenhair Fern, it is one of the most delicate plants you may ever see.  With the slightest breeze, its tiny little fronds sway ever so gently.

To me, it was a gift of Grace when I learned I had Maidenhair Fern growing in my backyard.  Then, out of the blue, 10 years later, this sweet little patch appeared in my front yard!  Another gift of Grace!

Recently, while visiting the Tonto Natural Bridge State Park, near Payson, Arizona, I came upon a beautiful patch of Maidenhair Fern growing out of the rocks (see picture below).  They seem to like this a lot, especially when the snowmelt gently weeps through the rocks to give them nourishment.  I found this was common at Zion National Park, as well.

Isn’t it amazing how under the earth, in places where we cannot see, there is new growth happening—it’s always a surprise to see what has bloomed—always beautiful!  As well, God always surprises us with what He has planted inside us.  When we allow ourselves to flourish, beauty comes forth.  Often, we are too afraid to allow our inner selves to show for fear we will be judged.  Can we possibly gain trust in all that is underneath our presumed darkness – in the beauty that God has instilled in us?

In The Riddle of Grace (1996), Scott Hoezee believes that when we understand and feel God’s Grace, we become “gracious in the sense of being grace-like, of showing forth in our own lives some of the qualities of God’s Grace in Christ” or what he calls “living graciously.”  Hoezee then shared Lewis Smedes’ findings in Shame and Grace (1994): “There is a weightlessness about grace.  It has the feel of a fairy tale; what makes it a very special fairy tale is that it is true.” 

Maidenhair Ferns have a weightlessness about them, too, like they’ve come from a fairy tale.  So, if you want to feel Grace, find some Maidenhair Ferns and enjoy the graciousness they gently exude.

The Grace of Spontaneity

In the mid-90s, when I decided to leave Corporate America and my long-held Human Resources role; I soon realized my life was totally lacking in spontaneity.  I was 45 years old, had spent 27 years in corporations and was so very spent, physically and mentally.  I decided to find a symbol to remind me to put spontaneity in my life; so, I purchased a coffee mug with Kokopelli on it—to me, he’s the epitome of spontaneity!  I quickly learned, however, that Kokopelli was seen as the god of fertility by a number of Southwestern Indian Tribes!  The Hopis believed Kokopelli carried unborn children on his back and distributed them to women, while the Zunis believed his flute playing chased away the winters and brought the spring rains.  (Below is a petroglyph and a modern-day Kokopelli.)

             

Around the same time, I was visited by a little Italian child, who was also the epitome of spontaneity!  While doing Human Resources (HR) at Gore & Associates, I met a fellow HR Associate from Verona, Italy, named Giovanna.  When we held our worldwide corporate HR meetings, she and I would share a room during the conference.  Shortly after I left Gore, she and her husband, Davide, and their daughter, Valentina (8 years old then), came to the States.  They stayed with me for part of their journey.

On the day of their arrival, as they approached my front door, I felt deeply that Valentina had a very important message for me; yet, I had never met her before.  During their visit, I had an opportunity to view this little child’s spontaneity—so very filled with life—who positively adored her Father—and he adored her!  I watched them interact; I watched her as she so enjoyed everything the Arizona desert had to offer.  I’ll never forget hearing her Italian words for the scenery – one day she saw an array of cacti and let out this excited word that sounded like “cock-toos!”  Another day we ventured out to the zoo—one experience completely made my day!  While standing looking at the elephants, in her Italian glee, Valentina giggled something to her Mother.  When I asked her Mother what she had said, she responded:  “I love the elephants, they’re always smiling!”  Ahhh, to see life through a child’s eyes!  She exuded love and life from every cell of her little body!  She was a child who was the outcome of parental love, discipline, care, education, and validation—everything every child so deserves.  She helped me to see the child I had put on a shelf 30 years prior when my Dad passed away.  She helped to change my life!  She was a tiny little messenger of Grace!  She exuded Beauty, Love, Peace, Joy…and Grace!  She was also a confirmation of the relationship that I had had with my own Dad when I was young.

Little Valentina’s light-heartedness and spontaneous ways taught me I must consider the needs of the little child inside me and provide her with sweetness and light.  Ahhh, the Grace of Spontaneity.

The Grace of Mystery

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church

I keep it, staying at Home

With a Bobolink for a Chorister

And an Orchard, for a Dome.

Some keep the Sabbath in Surplice

I just wear my Wings

And instead of tolling the Bell, for Church,

Our little Sexton – sings.

God preaches, a noted Clergyman

And the sermon is never long,

So instead of getting to Heaven, at last

I’m going, all along. 

(Emily Dickinson, c. 1858)

Going to church as a child was such a mystery to me.  A big part of the mystery was the quietude.  Children are so curious and enjoy any opportunity to explore – I was definitely a little explorer.  Once in church, however, I had to be quiet, fold my hands in my lap and be still.  I never had a problem being quiet and I didn’t have a problem being still either; but, when there was so much activity in church, my curiosity was easily caught up in the moment!

I will never forget one of those moments – I was in third grade and Miss Gordon was my teacher.  It was unusual to have a lay teacher in a Catholic school.  She was actually one of my favorites.  One morning, our class was sitting in church waiting for Mass to begin.  The eighth grade class was filing down the center aisle of the church.  I was so impressed with them – I thought they were totally grown up!  As I sat there in awe with my Missal on my lap and my hands holding it, my head must have veered to the right to get a better look at the “grown-ups” walking down the aisle.  Evidently Miss Gordon didn’t like that; because, without my knowledge, she entered my pew, got herself all the way over to me and tapped her strong index finger right on the cover of my Missal – she scared me half to death!  I’m sure I went white as a ghost!  “We keep our heads straight when we are in church,” she said firmly.  You can be sure I never did that again!

Attending Catholic schools meant you followed the rules – all of them.  You knew if you disobeyed, the nuns would tell your parents; and back then, parents believed the nuns, not you!  That was the 1950s!  So, I followed the rules – so much so that by the time I was in eighth grade, I had experienced a number of those moments.  Although, I didn’t understand it then, I later realized that the nuns knew they could count on my following the rules, so they began to put the meanest, most disruptive boys next to me in class.  Often, the boys poked their fountain pens or their pencils into my arms until I bled or scraped the metal edge of the ruler on my arm until my skin was raw or took my nicely lined spelling test, crumpled it into a ball and threw it away.  I didn’t say a word – I was not going to get into trouble again!

Later, at a Catholic high school, upon entering a classroom for my Freshman English class, I flipped the light switch on since I was the first to enter the room.  Immediately the lights went on, then off – so I flipped it on again.  Once again, the lights went on, then off!  This happened three times until I realized my friend, Janice, was at the front of the classroom flipping the light switch on.  Neither of us knew the other was there! This was one of those moments you couldn’t repeat if you tried!  We laughed!  But – the nun across the hall didn’t think it was funny at all!  She scurried across the hallway, which was filled with girls racing to their classes, spun me around and picked me up by my wool blazer and in a stern voice said: “What do you think you are doing?”  At that moment, my feet were off the ground - once again, I went white!  I couldn’t force the words out of my mouth that it was only a happenstance – we didn’t even know the other one was there!

Now, fast forward forty years – I move to the White Mountains of Arizona and begin to meet my neighbors.  As I met this one woman, a thought ran through my head – I know her and she used to be a nun!  As I walked back to my home, I thought - I must be crazy!  However, after getting to know her, I learned she had definitely been a nun at my Catholic high school.  I remembered her but she didn’t remember me.  Her comment was: “I get the feeling you were not one of those truant students or one who got into trouble.”  “No, that was not me,” I responded.  “Well, I was a counselor who dealt with girls who didn’t obey the rules.”  I never knew what her role at school had been; I had only recognized her face!  Phew!

After many experiences of trying to obey the rules, it’s no wonder why I enjoy going to a church when it’s empty; or more often, I find my church in the woods.  God meets us wherever we’re at.  And, that’s the greatest mystery of all!

National Day of Prayer - May 1, 2014

This year’s theme for the National Day of Prayer is: “…that you may with one mind and one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 15:6)  And, so we pray:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Today on this National Day of Prayer, please guide us to open our hearts, to set aside our differences, to come together in prayer to acknowledge the Lovingkindness of God.

The theme for this year’s prayer asks us to come together with “one mind and one voice” to glorify God.  Often, we go about our day not realizing Who is providing us oxygen to breathe, Who is giving us energy to work, learn or play, Who is giving us strength to carry on – and, especially, not realizing that we are all given these gifts simultaneously.  Please help us to recognize that when we set our mind on gratitude for God’s Grace, we then let go of the need to find fault, to outshine another, to use our strength against others – we realize that we are not here to overtake others but to have gratitude for every opportunity and to delight in others’ happiness.

In this past year, we have seen much tragedy across the world – many hearts and souls ache with sadness and grief.  Many of these tragedies included great loss – the Malaysian plane, the mudslide in Washington State, the avalanche on Mount Everest, the Korean Ferry Boat – the magnitude of which we cannot even fathom; yet, there are family members and friends, who are dealing with the depths of great loss.  Let us realize the interconnectedness of all our souls and extend heartfelt comfort.

Dear Lord, our beautiful planet Earth is going through many changes and drastic measures in our current time – earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, mudslides, tsunamis and avalanches of greater and greater magnitude.  Please help us to acknowledge and appreciate every living thing – the beauty of the flowers and trees and plants that God has provided us, the rich earth that provides our nourishment – too often, we see our land as something to conquer instead of something to regard and respect.  Please help us to honor the earth and treat it properly.

God has given us such ability, strength, resilience and love as humans – yet, too often we use those gifts as a means to overshadow fellow human beings.  Please help us each day, Dear Lord, to rise above this need in order to see and feel the greater need of all.  Please help us take one step closer to God, to live with Your understanding and love in order to extend kindness and gentleness to others as You did.  Please help us to know the heartwarming feeling of giving of oneself on behalf of another.

In Matthew 6:9-13, You gave us a prayer that encompasses what we need to say – The Our Father.  Please help us to truly ask that “Your Will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” so that we may better ourselves and create a better planet and place for everyone to live.

With gratitude and humility, we ask this in the Name of Jesus.  Amen.

The Grace of Invisible Hands

Years ago, I watched a program on PBS (Public Broadcasting Service) featuring Joseph Campbell, entitled The Power of Myth.  Campbell stated: “If we are on our right path, Invisible Hands will help us.”  In my own experience, this happens when we lead with our heart and soul.  This is not an ego thing; this is what makes our heart sing.  In fact, Campbell believed “If you’re using your ego, God seems cruel; but if you open your ego, let go, you’ll experience bliss.”  Let me share an example:

In the fall of 1989, while working for a software publisher in the Chicago area, I was given advance notice that my company was being sold.  I was grateful my boss had given me some time to seek another job.  Over a three-to-six-month period, however, I sent out 200 resumes, with no real response.  With over 20 years of professional experience, I quickly learned I was going to have a difficult time finding a job in the Chicago area since I did not have a degree.  I determined I needed to market myself in a new way – I needed to find a good company in a smaller community where there wasn’t such an abundance of degreed applicants.  I went to the library and did a great deal of research related to where I wanted to live, what kind of company I wanted to work for, and what I wanted to do.  I zeroed in on Flagstaff, AZ, and ordered their daily newspaper (no Internet yet), so I could keep current on job openings.  I also planned to fly there the day after my company closed in order to check out the surroundings.  I applied for jobs in Flagstaff but was specifically seeking employment with Gore & Associates, a medical products company known for their humanistic qualities.  In January of 1990, I applied for a Human Resources position and called periodically to check my status.  I was really concerned I wouldn’t have a chance for the job, though, because I couldn’t leave my current job until May 31^st or I would forfeit my severance pay.  Each time I called Gore, it seemed the job-filling process had been delayed for some reason.  As time went on, I also continued to search the Chicago area.  In April, I received a call for a phone screen from Gore.  In the meantime, I had scheduled my flights to spend the first week of June in Flagstaff.  Sometime after the phone screen, I received a call from Gore asking if I could possibly be in Flagstaff the first week of June!  Amazing Grace!  After a second interview trip in July, I was offered the job!  I put my townhome on the market and by August 1^st, I was heading to Arizona!

My friend Pam offered to make the drive from Chicago to Flagstaff with me—we had a fantastic three-day journey.  In fact, about 25 miles outside of Flagstaff, on Route 40, Pam said to me: “There’s the Flagstaff Peaks—your new home—how does it feel?”  I paused, looked at her and said: “I hope I’m making the right decision—I think I need a sign—maybe if I see a rainbow, I’ll know I’m doing the right thing.”  Within seconds, there was a huge rainbow in the sky – for the next three nights, the moon was encircled by a rainbow—a sight I had never seen before, nor since!

This whole process took many Invisible Hands that became obvious to me when all was said and done.  In fact, I remember at one point, after the second interview in Flagstaff - I literally sat in the middle of my kitchen floor with my head in my hands, having no idea if this job was going to come to fruition (I had just been told it was between one other applicant and me, a 50-50 chance!).  I had this feeling I had now placed everything in one basket called Flagstaff and possibly I hadn’t put enough energy in the local possibilities – what was I going to do if the Flagstaff position didn’t come through?  But, it did!

This is a special learning about God’s Grace, which requires growing in trust and faith while struggling through our human world.  I thank God often now because I always see His Invisible Hands at work in whatever I do.  We very often don’t realize all the help we’re getting from the Spirit world – I just know I’m very grateful for positively everything.

With Gratitude for our Soul

“This is the first, wildest and wisest thing I know,

that the soul exists and that it is built entirely out of attention.”

“…if I had to guess, I would say that only

what the soul is supposed to be

could send us forth with such cheer….”

(Mary Oliver, Poet)

This month’s post is somewhat of a continuation of last month’s on creativity – when we speak of creating our life, determining what we like to create, it leads us to a very deep place – to our soul.

We may think of our soul as being separate from us – something we tap into only at a moment of deep prayer.  Instead, it is always with us, always providing, always supportive.  It is often hard on this physical plane to break through all the things happening at once, to find our soul.  Yet, this is where our creativity flourishes – it is a place of integrity.  It is where we find comfort and peace, wisdom and knowledge, compassion and love, support and truth.  Because our world is often chaotic, it is hard to catch a glimpse of our soul; however, as mentioned in the previous blog, it comes to us through a rich and wonderful feeling.  If we are lost or not feeling connected or feeling less than and not deserving of, we can feel distant from our soul; and yet, it is still present.  When our life feels enriched, when we have passion for our studies or for our daily activities or what we are creating, this is when we are allowing our soul to come forth.

In her book, Seth Speaks, Jane Roberts writes: “You are meant to understand the nature of your inner self, and to manifest it outward.  As this is done, the exterior circumstances should change for the better as the inner self becomes more aware of its own nature and capabilities.”  I feel the important part of this statement is to realize how our world can change if we get to know our inner self and manifest that beauty outwardly.  If instead, we’re not in touch with our inner self, we may be in darkness, projecting our fears and prejudices onto others.

I have a deep concern for our world – for so many reasons – our constant attachment to technological gadgets is huge – yet, I fully trust that all is going toward the good even though we cannot always see that.  One of my professors repeatedly reminded us to “stand still in silence.”  In our chaotic world there is not much standing still and there is very little silence.  That chaos often causes a shaky world for its inhabitants.  I genuinely worry about our youth who are imbedded with these attachments.  All the more reason to find that inner self, the inner voice, our soul, where there is always comfort and peace.

When each one of us is able to feel the presence of our soul, to feel its gift, to experience its loving kindness, we can take comfort and extend that peace and serenity; so, there is a huge impact to the overall health of our world if we are open to our soul’s gift.

The Grace of Creativity

“The most creative act you can undertake is the act of creating yourself.”

(Deepak Chopra)

Last month, my wish was that the Giving Spirit of the Christmas Season continue to radiate through our lives by way of simple gestures, accepting moments and loving thoughts.  This month, I’d like to take that a step further to talk about the Giving Spirit of Creativity.

For years, I thought being creative meant having the skills of an excellent pianist, singer, artist, etc.  As I learned more about creativity, I realized we are all creating, every day.  Each person is as unique as a fingerprint; yet, often we compare ourselves to others and think we are not as creative as someone else.

Our life is ours to create – it was given to us by God with His Blessing!  In my first blog post, I mentioned that in 2001, I began to write a manuscript related to my gratitude for Grace.  Once I got further into it, I asked God if I had the right to write about this subject, since I was not “educated” in the topic.  The answer I received was: “Our creativity speaks with God’s voice.”  The more I understand this opportunity to create, the more I realize the huge Gift God has given each one of us.  He wants us to be happy and to be filled with joy and gives us the skills to create the life that makes us happy.  That’s the greatest Giving Spirit we could ever receive!

As we go about our day, it may feel like we’re making minor decisions along the way; however, we’re creating with each step.  This is why it’s so important to make the decisions that feel right for us – too often we worry about what someone else thinks we should be doing.  This may sound selfish; however, God gives us the opportunity to express and create our life by giving each one of us different interests and abilities and choices that excite our soul each day!

So you might ask – how do I know when I’m creating what I truly want?  You will know by your feelings.  If you are feeling the joy of giving, the joy of learning, the joy of being alive, the joy of extending your love, those are positive feelings.  If you find yourself experiencing negative emotions, such as anger, blame, fear, jealousy, resentment, you will know that you are not making choices that are fulfilling your soul.  As soon as you realize you’re feeling a negative emotion, stop for a moment to determine what’s behind that emotion.  As mentioned earlier, sometimes we make choices based on what we think others want us to do – often that results in negative emotions.  Our emotions respond to our beliefs, so when you’re feeling negative emotions, check in with yourself to determine the belief you’re holding onto that’s bringing about that emotion – that belief is triggering your feelings.

Enjoy the Giving Spirit of Creating Life!