With Gratitude for Gratitude

If I could give you one gift to start this year off, I would give you the gift of Gratitude. Perhaps Rumi, the 13^th Century poet/mystic, said it best:

“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.”

Gratitude starts small but grows and expands and definitely feeds every corner of our life.  If you’re not sure where to begin, start with something small: I’m grateful for my eyelashes – or something big: I’m grateful for my heart.  Have you ever told your heart how grateful you are that it’s kept its beat throughout all the days of your life?  Rumi also said:

“If you only say one prayer in a day, make it ‘Thank you.’”

Gratitude warms your heart and your heart appreciates your Gratitude.  If you say a prayer of thank you to every cell in your being, you will heal each one of those cells; watch how much better you feel.

Gratitude brings the answer to many questions and has many by-products.  When you feel Gratitude for something, it makes that something even better and worth even more to your life.  Gratitude completes and rounds out and puts the frosting on the cake – and it just keeps multiplying.

It seems like we would have to be in a really good place in order to feel Gratitude; however, when you don’t know where to turn, express Gratitude first – even if for just being grateful that you are in the situation you are in.  It will provide the door that opens to help you see a new avenue; a light will shine.  It is transformative.

I love this quote from Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine Monk:

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful

but gratitude that makes us happy.”

Lastly, I will share a few words from Robert Schwartz, author of Courageous Souls (2007):

“The importance of gratitude cannot be overstated.  Two tuning forks of similar frequency will strike a sympathetic resonance; that is, they will vibrate in unison.  Gratitude is an elevated, even sacred vibration, on a par with love, forgiveness, joy and compassion.”

May this New Year be filled with Gratitude!

With Gratitude for Compassion

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”  (Dalai Lama)

“One day I looked at something in myself that I had been avoiding because it was too painful. Yet once I did, I had an unexpected surprise.  Rather than self-hatred, I was flooded with compassion for myself because I realized the pain necessary to develop that coping mechanism to begin with.”  (Marianne Williamson)

“If her past were your past, her pain your pain, her level of consciousness your level of consciousness, you would think and act exactly as she does.  With this realization comes forgiveness, compassion and peace.”  (Eckhart Tolle)

"Grief can be the garden of compassion.  If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life's search for love and wisdom."  (Rumi)

Recently, while volunteering at the Library, I heard a man say “I saw this homeless guy picking up a book on [some subject], what would he know about that?!”  We easily determine who people are by their looks, their dress, their interests, what they drive, etc.  What we don’t know are all the experiences they’ve had in their life and the pain they’re carrying beneath their skin because of those experiences.

As an example, Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth (2005), had a difficult childhood, experienced depression as an adult and became a vagrant on the street for a number of years.  During this period, he experienced “a state of deep bliss.”  Eventually he began to write.  Today he is known worldwide for his spiritual wisdom.  We never know what God’s plan is for us – we must trust His Plan because it is greater than we can ever imagine.

Souls come to this earth to learn compassion and some to teach compassion.  Sometimes it is actually those we least expect who teach us compassion.  At this beautiful season, I think it is important to find compassion for ourselves and then to take the love that that creates to find compassion for others as we look beyond their exterior.

I recently lost my Mother and my twin Brother – my Mother’s death was somewhat expected for her age and illness issues; however, my Brother’s death was sudden and unexpected.  At the time of their deaths, I realized they both brought me to a higher level of compassion, for which I am grateful.

I believe we can make our world a more compassionate place.  Let’s do this for Christmas – it will provide a gift to ourselves, to others and an even bigger gift to Jesus!

Wishing you and your family and friends a blessed and compassionate Christmas.

With Gratitude for Leaders

"In America today, we have critical problems that will not go away without collective dedication and effort.  We must apply ourselves to serious problems with a concentration and a sense of purpose that we do not always summon in more normal times.  Those who would have us gloss over those problems or deny them do not help us respond.  Those who would lead us into cynicism or anger lead us away from healing.  We need deep understanding of our collective problems, we need faith, and we need love.”

(The Healing of America, Marianne Williamson, 1997)

About the time Marianne was crafting those words, I was in a Human Resources role at Gore & Associates, a corporation focused on hiring leaders and honing leadership skills.  While researching the topic of leadership, I learned that the number one quality required for a leader is integrity; I also learned, if a leader does not have integrity, his/her followers will no longer follow.

In America today, we have lost sight of and/or are lacking in leadership abilities; hence, a lack of integrity permeates our society.  Or, the loss of integrity, which seems to have come first, has netted a lack of leaders.  I can recall the experience and the feeling of watching the integrity in Corporate America plummet over a period of about 20 years, most prevalent when we became a global economy in the early 1990s.  With the excellent efforts and success of companies such as FedEx, one could have piece parts manufactured offshore and shipped overseas within a few days.  Unfortunately, the underlying thrust became greed – a slippery-sloped path often taken without any long-term thought of its effect.

So, here we are today, possibly wondering what true leadership even looks like.  At a Human Resources conference some years back, Bill Morin, CEO of Drake, Beam, Morin, New York, shared a story of when he waited among throngs of people to see Pope John Paul II come to New York.  While talking to fellow onlookers, he learned that many of them, not even of the same religion, felt a burning need to catch a glimpse of what a leader truly is or at least what one looks like.

As a community, I believe we have a legacy to uphold, one that teaches our children a way of life and the ability to thrive and to cope.  We have lost our way on many fronts and I believe we’re waiting for someone to take charge to get us on the right path.  At this point, I feel the only way is for each one of us to take on the responsibility to make a difference, to make our world a better place.  We have communications resources that we plug into each day; yet, we are out of touch.  We must do better than this – we cannot allow our children to be killed on school campuses; we cannot tolerate children in America going to bed hungry and we cannot settle for schools that are truly not teaching our children critical thinking.  Today, more and more children are reaching for suicide as a coping mechanism to end their fears of the constant barrage of what’s heard on the news each night.

For some good news - people in the spiritual community believe we are going toward the Light in this era, even though it appears there is so much darkness among humanity.  Research has been done on children born during the past 30 years or so that has studied their auras – these children are often called “old souls” because they are wise beyond their years – more sensitive, more forgiving, more intuitive and seeking integrity.  This brings hope that our ship can be turned around and its path righted.

I am not asking you to vote for a specific party or for a specific person.  I honestly believe the only hope we have today is prayer.  I am asking you to pray for the leaders who are voted into office during this term that they be instilled with God’s guidance to honor and respect all humans and to rise to the call of human decency and integrity.  It is imperative that we honor, respect and highly regard God’s beautiful creations of human life, the earth and the universe.

"We are divinely created spiritual beings placed on earth for the purpose of creating the good, the true and the beautiful.  This goal, when embraced by the human heart, is a compelling force that motivates us to higher heights than any contest or economical stimulus could ever come close to matching.  There are within each of us God-given talents that do not respond to market pressure yet spring to life in the presence of honor and respect.  Spiritual law would have us serve each other rather than compete with each other, bless each other rather than condemn each other, and place our primary attention on the extension of brotherly love.”

(The Healing of America, Marianne Williamson, 1997)

With Gratitude for God's Sacred Grace

“Even when God seemed to have abandoned me, He was watching.

Even when He seemed indifferent to my suffering, He was watching.

And when I was beyond all hope of saving, He gave me rest,

then gave me a sign to continue my journey.”

(From the movie Life of Pi)

After a difficult breakup in my late 40s, I took a long drive to visit friends and family up the coast of California, Oregon and Washington to clear my head and to heal my heart.  I cried often as I drove the many miles; however, on the return trip, I was really angry with God.  I actually got “cocky” with Him – something I never thought I could or would do.  I wanted to know where He was!  Why wasn’t He there when I needed Him most!  I actually told Him – “If you’re here, give me a sign, write the word ‘Hi’ in the sky or write my name or something!”  Nothing happened.  However, within a few minutes, amidst all the beautiful redwood trees lining both sides of the road, there was a yellow, 8-1/2 x 11 sheet of paper posted on one of the trees that called out to my attention.  It said: “Trust Jesus.”  Wow, that humbled me, however, I still wasn’t satisfied – I kept looking for a message in the clouds!  What willfulness!

A little further down the road, while crying, I was half listening to the soundtrack from Les Miserables.  All of a sudden I heard the words “I will not forsake you now” very firmly come from the audiotape.  I realized the song A Little Fall of Rain was playing – the song depicts a dying woman during the midst of war, asking the man who was comforting her not to leave her.  This song is sung in a whisper, yet I heard a very firm voice.  It was a surreal moment – I wanted to rewind the tape but I didn’t have the nerve to do it.  I waited until the next day, played the tape again and realized the singer actually says “I won’t desert you now” – in a whisper.  I was very humbled and knew God was with me – a Sacred moment.

Still further down the road, as the sun was burning off the fog, I rounded a bend and gasped at the view – a massive span of Redwoods against an azure-blue sky – a thought instantly came to me: This is Heaven on Earth!  Within moments, there was a road sign announcing a restaurant ahead called “Heaven on Earth!”  This was a turning point in my life.  I felt God’s Presence – I was mixed with guilt, sadness, amazement, wonder and gratefulness – gratefulness for God’s Sacred Grace.

Soon I was back home and back at work!  On my way to a computer training class one day, a huge truck crossed numerous lanes and rammed into my car.  I don’t know how I survived the accident!  I only ended up with soft-tissue damage; however, the doctor requested that I remain home for a month with bed rest and physical therapy.  At the time, I had just moved into a condo – I had been busy pulling up carpeting, washing walls, cabinets, etc. – a very busy time.  As I laid in bed recuperating, I realized God had a purpose for all this – He knew I was reeling from all the change and crazy times, so He found a way to make the madness stop!  I realized, also, having a month off work to rest was not so bad after all – plus the physical therapy included massages every week!  Does God know what we need or what?

During difficult times or even not-so-difficult times, we run our life at a super-fast pace, trusting that we can just keep going.  Do we think of God or thank Him?  Somehow, when we let go of the ego that drives us – the strong confidence that we’re all we need in this life to make things happen, we realize it is God making it all happen – always – for our betterment and with His Love.

“I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go.”

(Quote from the movie Life of Pi)

With Gratitude for Responsibility

On this Labor Day Monday, it seems a good time to talk about responsibility, even though this topic may not always seem like Grace in our lives!  I am very grateful that I had parents and teachers who taught me responsibility as a child.  I am also grateful that my nieces/nephews are teaching their children responsibility and having expectations of their children to take responsibility for their actions.  Discipline is good for children and will pay off in the long run, right?!

When I learned the most about responsibility, a time that brought much clarity to its impact, was when I worked with persons with a serious mental illness.  Our program’s goal at the University of Arizona was to support persons in getting their lives back on track through their involvement in work or school.  In our society, there is such a terrible stigma against persons with this illness that we “classify” them in their own group.  This makes it very hard for them to break into society.  It was very difficult for them to begin the socializing process, to go toward seeking a job, finding fulfillment.  I learned that a major part of their success happened the moment they took responsibility for their lives.  I watched one individual kick and scream and dig in her heels so she wouldn’t have to cross that line.  Once she did, she realized she was the only one making the line so difficult to cross.  Since then, she transformed her life.  While once she was a person expecting a conflict at every turn, she became a symbol of spiritual growth and helped others to grow.  Once we take responsibility for where we are, accept it, climb out of victimhood, grasp our life, we flourish!  That is when the “Invisible Hands” Joseph Campbell referred to, help us along the way!  People, messengers, things come into our lives that we could not begin to orchestrate if we tried!  It is miraculous—it is Grace!

I have always been very responsible; however, I came to realize something – when I took responsibility for things that I wasn’t responsible for—when I filled my days taking care of things that rightfully belonged to someone else, I was no longer being responsible.  I was fulfilling an ego need—a part of survival—that says, as long as I keep doing this for you, maybe you will find me to have value.  Unfortunately, by so doing, I gave up my power, remained a victim and didn’t get to experience who I was really meant to be—all this just to gain some approval!  This was a very hard lesson to learn.  The survival lesson for me was to learn that I can no longer give of myself (in the way of taking care of others’ responsibilities) because it was to my detriment to do that.  More and more fellow workers wanted me to do projects because they knew the effort I would put into it.  This meant more and more work—validation was taking more and more effort to attain!  I didn’t understand it at the time, but it was external validation—there was no internal validation taking place.

I wanted to bring this point across because, in our society, there are a lot of victims.  I’m not knocking anyone—it is a part of survival—it is ego doing its job, protecting us from the pain we are not ready to face – from the responsibility we are not willing to assume.  As mentioned in previous posts, I’ve come to learn that survival is not truly living.  When persons are in a survival mode, they are always watching their back or waiting for the next shoe to drop.  They go through their life creating and continuing that lifestyle—“Guess what happened to me now!”  These are the words of a victim who is choosing to remain a victim—it becomes an expectation, something to hang onto – that is ego doing its job.  Notice how the words typically state something has happened to them—it’s come from outside of them—another confirmation of the willingness to give up their power. 

We may not always like what’s happening in our lives—we may feel a bit out of control at times—however, if we trust God’s Will, we know that all happens for the good, so we have to trust that He knows what we need best.  Blend your will with God’s Will—He wants us to make choices, too—and grow and learn from them.  He is a loving Father Who knows very well that discipline is love.

The Grace of Maidenhair Ferns

The other day, as I was coming back in the house after getting the mail, I was excited to see a little patch of Maidenhair Fern growing in front of my house.  When I first moved to my home over 10 years ago, I was excited to learn that there were little sprouts of Maidenhair Fern behind my home - I have always enjoyed looking for them in the spring.

I first came upon Maidenhair Fern when I visited the Morton Arboretum in the Chicago area in the spring.  If you have never seen Maidenhair Fern, it is one of the most delicate plants you may ever see.  With the slightest breeze, its tiny little fronds sway ever so gently.

To me, it was a gift of Grace when I learned I had Maidenhair Fern growing in my backyard.  Then, out of the blue, 10 years later, this sweet little patch appeared in my front yard!  Another gift of Grace!

Recently, while visiting the Tonto Natural Bridge State Park, near Payson, Arizona, I came upon a beautiful patch of Maidenhair Fern growing out of the rocks (see picture below).  They seem to like this a lot, especially when the snowmelt gently weeps through the rocks to give them nourishment.  I found this was common at Zion National Park, as well.

Isn’t it amazing how under the earth, in places where we cannot see, there is new growth happening—it’s always a surprise to see what has bloomed—always beautiful!  As well, God always surprises us with what He has planted inside us.  When we allow ourselves to flourish, beauty comes forth.  Often, we are too afraid to allow our inner selves to show for fear we will be judged.  Can we possibly gain trust in all that is underneath our presumed darkness – in the beauty that God has instilled in us?

In The Riddle of Grace (1996), Scott Hoezee believes that when we understand and feel God’s Grace, we become “gracious in the sense of being grace-like, of showing forth in our own lives some of the qualities of God’s Grace in Christ” or what he calls “living graciously.”  Hoezee then shared Lewis Smedes’ findings in Shame and Grace (1994): “There is a weightlessness about grace.  It has the feel of a fairy tale; what makes it a very special fairy tale is that it is true.” 

Maidenhair Ferns have a weightlessness about them, too, like they’ve come from a fairy tale.  So, if you want to feel Grace, find some Maidenhair Ferns and enjoy the graciousness they gently exude.

The Grace of Spontaneity

In the mid-90s, when I decided to leave Corporate America and my long-held Human Resources role; I soon realized my life was totally lacking in spontaneity.  I was 45 years old, had spent 27 years in corporations and was so very spent, physically and mentally.  I decided to find a symbol to remind me to put spontaneity in my life; so, I purchased a coffee mug with Kokopelli on it—to me, he’s the epitome of spontaneity!  I quickly learned, however, that Kokopelli was seen as the god of fertility by a number of Southwestern Indian Tribes!  The Hopis believed Kokopelli carried unborn children on his back and distributed them to women, while the Zunis believed his flute playing chased away the winters and brought the spring rains.  (Below is a petroglyph and a modern-day Kokopelli.)

             

Around the same time, I was visited by a little Italian child, who was also the epitome of spontaneity!  While doing Human Resources (HR) at Gore & Associates, I met a fellow HR Associate from Verona, Italy, named Giovanna.  When we held our worldwide corporate HR meetings, she and I would share a room during the conference.  Shortly after I left Gore, she and her husband, Davide, and their daughter, Valentina (8 years old then), came to the States.  They stayed with me for part of their journey.

On the day of their arrival, as they approached my front door, I felt deeply that Valentina had a very important message for me; yet, I had never met her before.  During their visit, I had an opportunity to view this little child’s spontaneity—so very filled with life—who positively adored her Father—and he adored her!  I watched them interact; I watched her as she so enjoyed everything the Arizona desert had to offer.  I’ll never forget hearing her Italian words for the scenery – one day she saw an array of cacti and let out this excited word that sounded like “cock-toos!”  Another day we ventured out to the zoo—one experience completely made my day!  While standing looking at the elephants, in her Italian glee, Valentina giggled something to her Mother.  When I asked her Mother what she had said, she responded:  “I love the elephants, they’re always smiling!”  Ahhh, to see life through a child’s eyes!  She exuded love and life from every cell of her little body!  She was a child who was the outcome of parental love, discipline, care, education, and validation—everything every child so deserves.  She helped me to see the child I had put on a shelf 30 years prior when my Dad passed away.  She helped to change my life!  She was a tiny little messenger of Grace!  She exuded Beauty, Love, Peace, Joy…and Grace!  She was also a confirmation of the relationship that I had had with my own Dad when I was young.

Little Valentina’s light-heartedness and spontaneous ways taught me I must consider the needs of the little child inside me and provide her with sweetness and light.  Ahhh, the Grace of Spontaneity.