With Gratitude for Leaders

"In America today, we have critical problems that will not go away without collective dedication and effort.  We must apply ourselves to serious problems with a concentration and a sense of purpose that we do not always summon in more normal times.  Those who would have us gloss over those problems or deny them do not help us respond.  Those who would lead us into cynicism or anger lead us away from healing.  We need deep understanding of our collective problems, we need faith, and we need love.”

(The Healing of America, Marianne Williamson, 1997)

About the time Marianne was crafting those words, I was in a Human Resources role at Gore & Associates, a corporation focused on hiring leaders and honing leadership skills.  While researching the topic of leadership, I learned that the number one quality required for a leader is integrity; I also learned, if a leader does not have integrity, his/her followers will no longer follow.

In America today, we have lost sight of and/or are lacking in leadership abilities; hence, a lack of integrity permeates our society.  Or, the loss of integrity, which seems to have come first, has netted a lack of leaders.  I can recall the experience and the feeling of watching the integrity in Corporate America plummet over a period of about 20 years, most prevalent when we became a global economy in the early 1990s.  With the excellent efforts and success of companies such as FedEx, one could have piece parts manufactured offshore and shipped overseas within a few days.  Unfortunately, the underlying thrust became greed – a slippery-sloped path often taken without any long-term thought of its effect.

So, here we are today, possibly wondering what true leadership even looks like.  At a Human Resources conference some years back, Bill Morin, CEO of Drake, Beam, Morin, New York, shared a story of when he waited among throngs of people to see Pope John Paul II come to New York.  While talking to fellow onlookers, he learned that many of them, not even of the same religion, felt a burning need to catch a glimpse of what a leader truly is or at least what one looks like.

As a community, I believe we have a legacy to uphold, one that teaches our children a way of life and the ability to thrive and to cope.  We have lost our way on many fronts and I believe we’re waiting for someone to take charge to get us on the right path.  At this point, I feel the only way is for each one of us to take on the responsibility to make a difference, to make our world a better place.  We have communications resources that we plug into each day; yet, we are out of touch.  We must do better than this – we cannot allow our children to be killed on school campuses; we cannot tolerate children in America going to bed hungry and we cannot settle for schools that are truly not teaching our children critical thinking.  Today, more and more children are reaching for suicide as a coping mechanism to end their fears of the constant barrage of what’s heard on the news each night.

For some good news - people in the spiritual community believe we are going toward the Light in this era, even though it appears there is so much darkness among humanity.  Research has been done on children born during the past 30 years or so that has studied their auras – these children are often called “old souls” because they are wise beyond their years – more sensitive, more forgiving, more intuitive and seeking integrity.  This brings hope that our ship can be turned around and its path righted.

I am not asking you to vote for a specific party or for a specific person.  I honestly believe the only hope we have today is prayer.  I am asking you to pray for the leaders who are voted into office during this term that they be instilled with God’s guidance to honor and respect all humans and to rise to the call of human decency and integrity.  It is imperative that we honor, respect and highly regard God’s beautiful creations of human life, the earth and the universe.

"We are divinely created spiritual beings placed on earth for the purpose of creating the good, the true and the beautiful.  This goal, when embraced by the human heart, is a compelling force that motivates us to higher heights than any contest or economical stimulus could ever come close to matching.  There are within each of us God-given talents that do not respond to market pressure yet spring to life in the presence of honor and respect.  Spiritual law would have us serve each other rather than compete with each other, bless each other rather than condemn each other, and place our primary attention on the extension of brotherly love.”

(The Healing of America, Marianne Williamson, 1997)

With Gratitude for God's Sacred Grace

“Even when God seemed to have abandoned me, He was watching.

Even when He seemed indifferent to my suffering, He was watching.

And when I was beyond all hope of saving, He gave me rest,

then gave me a sign to continue my journey.”

(From the movie Life of Pi)

After a difficult breakup in my late 40s, I took a long drive to visit friends and family up the coast of California, Oregon and Washington to clear my head and to heal my heart.  I cried often as I drove the many miles; however, on the return trip, I was really angry with God.  I actually got “cocky” with Him – something I never thought I could or would do.  I wanted to know where He was!  Why wasn’t He there when I needed Him most!  I actually told Him – “If you’re here, give me a sign, write the word ‘Hi’ in the sky or write my name or something!”  Nothing happened.  However, within a few minutes, amidst all the beautiful redwood trees lining both sides of the road, there was a yellow, 8-1/2 x 11 sheet of paper posted on one of the trees that called out to my attention.  It said: “Trust Jesus.”  Wow, that humbled me, however, I still wasn’t satisfied – I kept looking for a message in the clouds!  What willfulness!

A little further down the road, while crying, I was half listening to the soundtrack from Les Miserables.  All of a sudden I heard the words “I will not forsake you now” very firmly come from the audiotape.  I realized the song A Little Fall of Rain was playing – the song depicts a dying woman during the midst of war, asking the man who was comforting her not to leave her.  This song is sung in a whisper, yet I heard a very firm voice.  It was a surreal moment – I wanted to rewind the tape but I didn’t have the nerve to do it.  I waited until the next day, played the tape again and realized the singer actually says “I won’t desert you now” – in a whisper.  I was very humbled and knew God was with me – a Sacred moment.

Still further down the road, as the sun was burning off the fog, I rounded a bend and gasped at the view – a massive span of Redwoods against an azure-blue sky – a thought instantly came to me: This is Heaven on Earth!  Within moments, there was a road sign announcing a restaurant ahead called “Heaven on Earth!”  This was a turning point in my life.  I felt God’s Presence – I was mixed with guilt, sadness, amazement, wonder and gratefulness – gratefulness for God’s Sacred Grace.

Soon I was back home and back at work!  On my way to a computer training class one day, a huge truck crossed numerous lanes and rammed into my car.  I don’t know how I survived the accident!  I only ended up with soft-tissue damage; however, the doctor requested that I remain home for a month with bed rest and physical therapy.  At the time, I had just moved into a condo – I had been busy pulling up carpeting, washing walls, cabinets, etc. – a very busy time.  As I laid in bed recuperating, I realized God had a purpose for all this – He knew I was reeling from all the change and crazy times, so He found a way to make the madness stop!  I realized, also, having a month off work to rest was not so bad after all – plus the physical therapy included massages every week!  Does God know what we need or what?

During difficult times or even not-so-difficult times, we run our life at a super-fast pace, trusting that we can just keep going.  Do we think of God or thank Him?  Somehow, when we let go of the ego that drives us – the strong confidence that we’re all we need in this life to make things happen, we realize it is God making it all happen – always – for our betterment and with His Love.

“I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go.”

(Quote from the movie Life of Pi)

With Gratitude for Responsibility

On this Labor Day Monday, it seems a good time to talk about responsibility, even though this topic may not always seem like Grace in our lives!  I am very grateful that I had parents and teachers who taught me responsibility as a child.  I am also grateful that my nieces/nephews are teaching their children responsibility and having expectations of their children to take responsibility for their actions.  Discipline is good for children and will pay off in the long run, right?!

When I learned the most about responsibility, a time that brought much clarity to its impact, was when I worked with persons with a serious mental illness.  Our program’s goal at the University of Arizona was to support persons in getting their lives back on track through their involvement in work or school.  In our society, there is such a terrible stigma against persons with this illness that we “classify” them in their own group.  This makes it very hard for them to break into society.  It was very difficult for them to begin the socializing process, to go toward seeking a job, finding fulfillment.  I learned that a major part of their success happened the moment they took responsibility for their lives.  I watched one individual kick and scream and dig in her heels so she wouldn’t have to cross that line.  Once she did, she realized she was the only one making the line so difficult to cross.  Since then, she transformed her life.  While once she was a person expecting a conflict at every turn, she became a symbol of spiritual growth and helped others to grow.  Once we take responsibility for where we are, accept it, climb out of victimhood, grasp our life, we flourish!  That is when the “Invisible Hands” Joseph Campbell referred to, help us along the way!  People, messengers, things come into our lives that we could not begin to orchestrate if we tried!  It is miraculous—it is Grace!

I have always been very responsible; however, I came to realize something – when I took responsibility for things that I wasn’t responsible for—when I filled my days taking care of things that rightfully belonged to someone else, I was no longer being responsible.  I was fulfilling an ego need—a part of survival—that says, as long as I keep doing this for you, maybe you will find me to have value.  Unfortunately, by so doing, I gave up my power, remained a victim and didn’t get to experience who I was really meant to be—all this just to gain some approval!  This was a very hard lesson to learn.  The survival lesson for me was to learn that I can no longer give of myself (in the way of taking care of others’ responsibilities) because it was to my detriment to do that.  More and more fellow workers wanted me to do projects because they knew the effort I would put into it.  This meant more and more work—validation was taking more and more effort to attain!  I didn’t understand it at the time, but it was external validation—there was no internal validation taking place.

I wanted to bring this point across because, in our society, there are a lot of victims.  I’m not knocking anyone—it is a part of survival—it is ego doing its job, protecting us from the pain we are not ready to face – from the responsibility we are not willing to assume.  As mentioned in previous posts, I’ve come to learn that survival is not truly living.  When persons are in a survival mode, they are always watching their back or waiting for the next shoe to drop.  They go through their life creating and continuing that lifestyle—“Guess what happened to me now!”  These are the words of a victim who is choosing to remain a victim—it becomes an expectation, something to hang onto – that is ego doing its job.  Notice how the words typically state something has happened to them—it’s come from outside of them—another confirmation of the willingness to give up their power. 

We may not always like what’s happening in our lives—we may feel a bit out of control at times—however, if we trust God’s Will, we know that all happens for the good, so we have to trust that He knows what we need best.  Blend your will with God’s Will—He wants us to make choices, too—and grow and learn from them.  He is a loving Father Who knows very well that discipline is love.

The Grace of Maidenhair Ferns

The other day, as I was coming back in the house after getting the mail, I was excited to see a little patch of Maidenhair Fern growing in front of my house.  When I first moved to my home over 10 years ago, I was excited to learn that there were little sprouts of Maidenhair Fern behind my home - I have always enjoyed looking for them in the spring.

I first came upon Maidenhair Fern when I visited the Morton Arboretum in the Chicago area in the spring.  If you have never seen Maidenhair Fern, it is one of the most delicate plants you may ever see.  With the slightest breeze, its tiny little fronds sway ever so gently.

To me, it was a gift of Grace when I learned I had Maidenhair Fern growing in my backyard.  Then, out of the blue, 10 years later, this sweet little patch appeared in my front yard!  Another gift of Grace!

Recently, while visiting the Tonto Natural Bridge State Park, near Payson, Arizona, I came upon a beautiful patch of Maidenhair Fern growing out of the rocks (see picture below).  They seem to like this a lot, especially when the snowmelt gently weeps through the rocks to give them nourishment.  I found this was common at Zion National Park, as well.

Isn’t it amazing how under the earth, in places where we cannot see, there is new growth happening—it’s always a surprise to see what has bloomed—always beautiful!  As well, God always surprises us with what He has planted inside us.  When we allow ourselves to flourish, beauty comes forth.  Often, we are too afraid to allow our inner selves to show for fear we will be judged.  Can we possibly gain trust in all that is underneath our presumed darkness – in the beauty that God has instilled in us?

In The Riddle of Grace (1996), Scott Hoezee believes that when we understand and feel God’s Grace, we become “gracious in the sense of being grace-like, of showing forth in our own lives some of the qualities of God’s Grace in Christ” or what he calls “living graciously.”  Hoezee then shared Lewis Smedes’ findings in Shame and Grace (1994): “There is a weightlessness about grace.  It has the feel of a fairy tale; what makes it a very special fairy tale is that it is true.” 

Maidenhair Ferns have a weightlessness about them, too, like they’ve come from a fairy tale.  So, if you want to feel Grace, find some Maidenhair Ferns and enjoy the graciousness they gently exude.

The Grace of Spontaneity

In the mid-90s, when I decided to leave Corporate America and my long-held Human Resources role; I soon realized my life was totally lacking in spontaneity.  I was 45 years old, had spent 27 years in corporations and was so very spent, physically and mentally.  I decided to find a symbol to remind me to put spontaneity in my life; so, I purchased a coffee mug with Kokopelli on it—to me, he’s the epitome of spontaneity!  I quickly learned, however, that Kokopelli was seen as the god of fertility by a number of Southwestern Indian Tribes!  The Hopis believed Kokopelli carried unborn children on his back and distributed them to women, while the Zunis believed his flute playing chased away the winters and brought the spring rains.  (Below is a petroglyph and a modern-day Kokopelli.)

             

Around the same time, I was visited by a little Italian child, who was also the epitome of spontaneity!  While doing Human Resources (HR) at Gore & Associates, I met a fellow HR Associate from Verona, Italy, named Giovanna.  When we held our worldwide corporate HR meetings, she and I would share a room during the conference.  Shortly after I left Gore, she and her husband, Davide, and their daughter, Valentina (8 years old then), came to the States.  They stayed with me for part of their journey.

On the day of their arrival, as they approached my front door, I felt deeply that Valentina had a very important message for me; yet, I had never met her before.  During their visit, I had an opportunity to view this little child’s spontaneity—so very filled with life—who positively adored her Father—and he adored her!  I watched them interact; I watched her as she so enjoyed everything the Arizona desert had to offer.  I’ll never forget hearing her Italian words for the scenery – one day she saw an array of cacti and let out this excited word that sounded like “cock-toos!”  Another day we ventured out to the zoo—one experience completely made my day!  While standing looking at the elephants, in her Italian glee, Valentina giggled something to her Mother.  When I asked her Mother what she had said, she responded:  “I love the elephants, they’re always smiling!”  Ahhh, to see life through a child’s eyes!  She exuded love and life from every cell of her little body!  She was a child who was the outcome of parental love, discipline, care, education, and validation—everything every child so deserves.  She helped me to see the child I had put on a shelf 30 years prior when my Dad passed away.  She helped to change my life!  She was a tiny little messenger of Grace!  She exuded Beauty, Love, Peace, Joy…and Grace!  She was also a confirmation of the relationship that I had had with my own Dad when I was young.

Little Valentina’s light-heartedness and spontaneous ways taught me I must consider the needs of the little child inside me and provide her with sweetness and light.  Ahhh, the Grace of Spontaneity.

The Grace of Mystery

Some keep the Sabbath going to Church

I keep it, staying at Home

With a Bobolink for a Chorister

And an Orchard, for a Dome.

Some keep the Sabbath in Surplice

I just wear my Wings

And instead of tolling the Bell, for Church,

Our little Sexton – sings.

God preaches, a noted Clergyman

And the sermon is never long,

So instead of getting to Heaven, at last

I’m going, all along. 

(Emily Dickinson, c. 1858)

Going to church as a child was such a mystery to me.  A big part of the mystery was the quietude.  Children are so curious and enjoy any opportunity to explore – I was definitely a little explorer.  Once in church, however, I had to be quiet, fold my hands in my lap and be still.  I never had a problem being quiet and I didn’t have a problem being still either; but, when there was so much activity in church, my curiosity was easily caught up in the moment!

I will never forget one of those moments – I was in third grade and Miss Gordon was my teacher.  It was unusual to have a lay teacher in a Catholic school.  She was actually one of my favorites.  One morning, our class was sitting in church waiting for Mass to begin.  The eighth grade class was filing down the center aisle of the church.  I was so impressed with them – I thought they were totally grown up!  As I sat there in awe with my Missal on my lap and my hands holding it, my head must have veered to the right to get a better look at the “grown-ups” walking down the aisle.  Evidently Miss Gordon didn’t like that; because, without my knowledge, she entered my pew, got herself all the way over to me and tapped her strong index finger right on the cover of my Missal – she scared me half to death!  I’m sure I went white as a ghost!  “We keep our heads straight when we are in church,” she said firmly.  You can be sure I never did that again!

Attending Catholic schools meant you followed the rules – all of them.  You knew if you disobeyed, the nuns would tell your parents; and back then, parents believed the nuns, not you!  That was the 1950s!  So, I followed the rules – so much so that by the time I was in eighth grade, I had experienced a number of those moments.  Although, I didn’t understand it then, I later realized that the nuns knew they could count on my following the rules, so they began to put the meanest, most disruptive boys next to me in class.  Often, the boys poked their fountain pens or their pencils into my arms until I bled or scraped the metal edge of the ruler on my arm until my skin was raw or took my nicely lined spelling test, crumpled it into a ball and threw it away.  I didn’t say a word – I was not going to get into trouble again!

Later, at a Catholic high school, upon entering a classroom for my Freshman English class, I flipped the light switch on since I was the first to enter the room.  Immediately the lights went on, then off – so I flipped it on again.  Once again, the lights went on, then off!  This happened three times until I realized my friend, Janice, was at the front of the classroom flipping the light switch on.  Neither of us knew the other was there! This was one of those moments you couldn’t repeat if you tried!  We laughed!  But – the nun across the hall didn’t think it was funny at all!  She scurried across the hallway, which was filled with girls racing to their classes, spun me around and picked me up by my wool blazer and in a stern voice said: “What do you think you are doing?”  At that moment, my feet were off the ground - once again, I went white!  I couldn’t force the words out of my mouth that it was only a happenstance – we didn’t even know the other one was there!

Now, fast forward forty years – I move to the White Mountains of Arizona and begin to meet my neighbors.  As I met this one woman, a thought ran through my head – I know her and she used to be a nun!  As I walked back to my home, I thought - I must be crazy!  However, after getting to know her, I learned she had definitely been a nun at my Catholic high school.  I remembered her but she didn’t remember me.  Her comment was: “I get the feeling you were not one of those truant students or one who got into trouble.”  “No, that was not me,” I responded.  “Well, I was a counselor who dealt with girls who didn’t obey the rules.”  I never knew what her role at school had been; I had only recognized her face!  Phew!

After many experiences of trying to obey the rules, it’s no wonder why I enjoy going to a church when it’s empty; or more often, I find my church in the woods.  God meets us wherever we’re at.  And, that’s the greatest mystery of all!

National Day of Prayer - May 1, 2014

This year’s theme for the National Day of Prayer is: “…that you may with one mind and one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 15:6)  And, so we pray:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Today on this National Day of Prayer, please guide us to open our hearts, to set aside our differences, to come together in prayer to acknowledge the Lovingkindness of God.

The theme for this year’s prayer asks us to come together with “one mind and one voice” to glorify God.  Often, we go about our day not realizing Who is providing us oxygen to breathe, Who is giving us energy to work, learn or play, Who is giving us strength to carry on – and, especially, not realizing that we are all given these gifts simultaneously.  Please help us to recognize that when we set our mind on gratitude for God’s Grace, we then let go of the need to find fault, to outshine another, to use our strength against others – we realize that we are not here to overtake others but to have gratitude for every opportunity and to delight in others’ happiness.

In this past year, we have seen much tragedy across the world – many hearts and souls ache with sadness and grief.  Many of these tragedies included great loss – the Malaysian plane, the mudslide in Washington State, the avalanche on Mount Everest, the Korean Ferry Boat – the magnitude of which we cannot even fathom; yet, there are family members and friends, who are dealing with the depths of great loss.  Let us realize the interconnectedness of all our souls and extend heartfelt comfort.

Dear Lord, our beautiful planet Earth is going through many changes and drastic measures in our current time – earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, mudslides, tsunamis and avalanches of greater and greater magnitude.  Please help us to acknowledge and appreciate every living thing – the beauty of the flowers and trees and plants that God has provided us, the rich earth that provides our nourishment – too often, we see our land as something to conquer instead of something to regard and respect.  Please help us to honor the earth and treat it properly.

God has given us such ability, strength, resilience and love as humans – yet, too often we use those gifts as a means to overshadow fellow human beings.  Please help us each day, Dear Lord, to rise above this need in order to see and feel the greater need of all.  Please help us take one step closer to God, to live with Your understanding and love in order to extend kindness and gentleness to others as You did.  Please help us to know the heartwarming feeling of giving of oneself on behalf of another.

In Matthew 6:9-13, You gave us a prayer that encompasses what we need to say – The Our Father.  Please help us to truly ask that “Your Will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” so that we may better ourselves and create a better planet and place for everyone to live.

With gratitude and humility, we ask this in the Name of Jesus.  Amen.