“My Father gave me the greatest gift anyone
could give another person, he believed in me.”
– Jim Valvano
With Father’s Day approaching, I’d like to take a moment
to honor my Dad. What a man he was – filled with vim and vigor and energy and a
big smile! A positive man with a vibrant outlook, who was always willing to
lend a hand. He was a man of strength and courage; yet, he was gentle, kind and
thoughtful.
My Dad was very dependable – if he told me he was going
to pick me up at a certain time, he was there. He always kept his word. Often,
when we’d walk home from school, if he was out in his delivery truck, he would
come up Raynor Avenue looking for us. He was as excited as I was when we locked
eyes on each other. Being before the days of seat belts and even a second seat
in his truck – I sat on a milk carton! I was as happy as could be! Later, when
he worked at our grade school, I was in 8th Grade – sometimes he’d
walk past our classroom – he knew exactly where I sat and gave me one of his
signature winks! Heartwarming gestures that came from his soul were a constant
with him.
When I was about 10 years old, my Dad told me - when he
dies, if there are nuns and priests around his bedside, he will know he had
lived a good life. I had no idea he would die six years later. When he took his
last breath, there were nuns and priests surrounding his bed. He always held
the Church, priests and nuns in the highest esteem. He taught us to always help
someone in need before they ever asked and he taught us to respect all people.
“Don’t let me ever hear my children have been disrespectful to anyone.” One
day, he said: “There is only one group of people you treat differently,” which
really surprised me. He said: “The elderly – with them, you give them even more
respect.” Somehow, even though he was constantly teaching, I never felt he was
preaching – he was a gentle teacher who knew exactly when and how to impart his
message. A humble man, he never sought any kind of accolades.
Even though my Dad was very busy with his grocery store
or later with his work at the church/school, he found time for everyone. I
never felt left behind because of all the people’s lives he touched. When he
was with you, he was present. On the weekend, we would all work on the yard;
each of us had our chores to do. My job was to trim the edges of the grass
along the sidewalk – no weed whackers in those days! When we were done, we all
sat on the front porch and admired our labor. He would get us a treat and we’d
sit there as a family and enjoy each other’s company. Every Sunday (the only
day his grocery store was closed), he’d go over to the store in late afternoon
to make sure the coolers/freezers were running properly. Each Sunday, he
brought us a treat from the store – we never knew what it was going to be –
maybe a jar of shrimp cocktail or a box of nonpareils (round, flat chocolates
covered with white sprinkles). Life was simple with sweet gestures and it was
all very good.
My Dad told me I couldn’t date until I was 16 – when my first
date came to pick me up for the Junior Prom, I saw a tear fall down my Dad’s
cheek. As a teenager, it’s exciting to attend the prom; however, today, I’d
give it up to keep those tears from flowing. As I became an adult, I realized my
Dad must have been filled with unbelievable wisdom beyond his years. He taught
by his actions and his words were brief; yet, what he imparted was lasting. Every
child deserves to have a Dad like this – one who believes in you and who
provides guidance, discipline and unconditional love. Thank you, Dad, for being
a man steeped in integrity and filled with love. Happy Father’s Day – with all my
love.
