With Gratitude for my Dad

“My Father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”

– Jim Valvano

With Father’s Day approaching, I’d like to take a moment to honor my Dad. What a man he was – filled with vim and vigor and energy and a big smile! A positive man with a vibrant outlook, who was always willing to lend a hand. He was a man of strength and courage; yet, he was gentle, kind and thoughtful.

My Dad was very dependable – if he told me he was going to pick me up at a certain time, he was there. He always kept his word. Often, when we’d walk home from school, if he was out in his delivery truck, he would come up Raynor Avenue looking for us. He was as excited as I was when we locked eyes on each other. Being before the days of seat belts and even a second seat in his truck – I sat on a milk carton! I was as happy as could be! Later, when he worked at our grade school, I was in 8^th Grade – sometimes he’d walk past our classroom – he knew exactly where I sat and gave me one of his signature winks! Heartwarming gestures that came from his soul were a constant with him.

When I was about 10 years old, my Dad told me - when he dies, if there are nuns and priests around his bedside, he will know he had lived a good life. I had no idea he would die six years later. When he took his last breath, there were nuns and priests surrounding his bed. He always held the Church, priests and nuns in the highest esteem. He taught us to always help someone in need before they ever asked and he taught us to respect all people. “Don’t let me ever hear my children have been disrespectful to anyone.” One day, he said: “There is only one group of people you treat differently,” which really surprised me. He said: “The elderly – with them, you give them even more respect.” Somehow, even though he was constantly teaching, I never felt he was preaching – he was a gentle teacher who knew exactly when and how to impart his message. A humble man, he never sought any kind of accolades.

Even though my Dad was very busy with his grocery store or later with his work at the church/school, he found time for everyone. I never felt left behind because of all the people’s lives he touched. When he was with you, he was present. On the weekend, we would all work on the yard; each of us had our chores to do. My job was to trim the edges of the grass along the sidewalk – no weed whackers in those days! When we were done, we all sat on the front porch and admired our labor. He would get us a treat and we’d sit there as a family and enjoy each other’s company. Every Sunday (the only day his grocery store was closed), he’d go over to the store in late afternoon to make sure the coolers/freezers were running properly. Each Sunday, he brought us a treat from the store – we never knew what it was going to be – maybe a jar of shrimp cocktail or a box of nonpareils (round, flat chocolates covered with white sprinkles). Life was simple with sweet gestures and it was all very good.

My Dad told me I couldn’t date until I was 16 – when my first date came to pick me up for the Junior Prom, I saw a tear fall down my Dad’s cheek. As a teenager, it’s exciting to attend the prom; however, today, I’d give it up to keep those tears from flowing. As I became an adult, I realized my Dad must have been filled with unbelievable wisdom beyond his years. He taught by his actions and his words were brief; yet, what he imparted was lasting. Every child deserves to have a Dad like this – one who believes in you and who provides guidance, discipline and unconditional love. Thank you, Dad, for being a man steeped in integrity and filled with love. Happy Father’s Day – with all my love.