The Grace of Character

In my last post, I spoke of my Dad, who was steeped in integrity. I believe I was in my mid-30s when I realized how much it must have taken him to uphold his integrity, his character. It made me admire and respect him even more. It can be very easy to take the slippery slope down the wrong path. I was very fortunate to have my Dad as my guidepost.

Recently, I heard David Brooks speak about his new book The Road to Character (2015). He talked about how society puts a lot of emphasis on what he calls our resume characteristics, as opposed to cultivating the characteristics of our soul. He admits he’s always been focused on his resume characteristics but now wants to work on his soul’s characteristics. I decided to pick up his book and learned that he researched numerous people who started out in life on the wrong foot but decided to redirect their path – these life vignettes run through his book and make for an inspirational read.

Brooks informed the reader that you can Google word usage over decades to determine the overall change in our language. For example, one word that has risen sharply is “self,” which is not surprising and very telling. Words related to economics and business have also risen; however, words such as “community,” “share,” “united” and “common good” have shown a sharp decline. Also on the decline is language related to morality, character building, character conscience and virtue. Here are some interesting word statistics which have all declined over the 20^th century: Bravery –66 percent, Gratitude –49 percent, Humbleness –52 percent and Kindness –56 percent.

Brooks feels we are “morally inarticulate.” I’m not sure exactly what this says but I found it to be sad. I know we typically build character when we’ve had a more difficult life, when we’ve had to humble ourselves to regroup and take a new approach. I strongly believe that we are here on this earth to “grow” our soul, which builds our love and compassion. Everyone experiences good and bad times and we’re fortunate as a humanity that we’re not all in bad times at the same time and that those not in bad times are capable of compassion to help us through the difficult days.

Brooks shared a quote he received from Dave Jolly, a Veterinarian, as a comment from a previous article he had written:

“Good, wise hearts are obtained through lifetimes of diligent effort to dig deeply within and heal lifetimes of scars. What a wise person teaches is the smallest part of what they give. The totality of their life, of the way they go about it in the smallest details, is what gets transmitted.”

The human body and mind is miraculous; for many years, I watched scientists and engineers attempt to duplicate it. We may differentiate each other by our names and faces but our character is fully ours alone and we get to determine that. If for no other reason, out of respect for the brilliancy of our human body and mind, let us cultivate our character to become the best we can be.

There are a few small quotes I’d like to share that I felt are worth repeating from Brooks’ material:

Don’t let the “deepest parts of yourself go unexplored and unstructured;” Don’t “step into a self-satisfied moral mediocrity;” Be careful not to “grade yourself on a forgiving curve;” Don’t let a “humiliating gap open up between your actual and desired self;” “Shoot for something higher than happiness;” “Become acutely aware of your own weaknesses;” Remember, we have to “go down to go up – from the valley of humility to the heights of character.”